LostKnightsRPG.org

[Liquidprism]

Damien found himself standing alone in a pillar of violet light. He was surrounded by what appeared to be a viscous medium of some sort. It was all around him except where broken by the luminous column, and it was pitch black. He got the sense that it was somehow in motion.

Damien shook his head, and tried to remember what he had been doing, and how he had come to be here. He realized he didn’t really know where here was, and he couldn’t recall anything relevant. One thing struck him immediately, he couldn’t remember having ever felt so isolated. He needed to figure out what was going on.

“This is your mind.” A haunting voice rasped from the blackness, reverberating through him. It made his hackles rise, and his muscles tense. He recognized the voice. It was that of a demon. The thing he hated more than anything else in his life. It was his darkest part that was responsible for what was happening. He should have known.

“I want out of whatever this is.” He spoke aloud. At least he thought it was aloud. Everything he was experiencing was surreal. It was like a bad dream, and as if to highlight this fact, his demand was greeted with only a mocking laughter.

“You cannot leave child, you just got here.” The shadows around him seemed to sneer. How does formless darkness sneer, he thought. “To do so you would need to abandon your own mind… and such a thing is beyond you. Besides, it would also leave me with complete autonomy over this vessel. Something you desperately wish to avoid, I think.”

Damien gritted his teeth, and found himself balling up his fists. “Damn it, what the hell do you want?”

“I want to talk. We never talk Damien,” The voices tone lowered, scolding him. “Don’t you think its time you paid a bit of attention to me?”

“Why would I do that? You make me sick, and I hate you.”

“I do admire you directness, but it won’t help you now. You are stuck with me, and I with you. You should be more cooperative child. You aren’t the only one with power to exert over this body.” Damien could feel fear creeping up on his nerves. He did his best to swallow it down. The demon had been in control before, but this, what was happening now, was something new. He had to be cautious, but his emotions had always had a way of clouding his judgment.

“You don’t have any power over me.” He stated trying hard to believe his boast, “I’ve shut you down before, and I will continue to do so until the day I die. You don’t get control, ever.”

“You don’t really believe it’s that easy Damien. I know what you’re thinking, and you barely believe the words you speak. Look around you. Look at where you are. Think about yourself, and what you have become since you’ve come to know of me. Are you really the same Damien you were before me? The decisions you’ve made, would the Damien you were a year ago have made those same decisions? Don’t insult me by believing I am impotent, and do not underestimate my influence.” The voice had grown cold, and menacing as it spoke.

Damien was forcing himself to listen, and he was shocked to find that there was truth in what it was saying. He was working hard to reel in his emotions. Whatever was happening was dangerous, possibly more dangerous than anything he had ever faced. Malice swirled about him. He could feel the blackness. He was terrified.

Damien knew the demon was right. He had done horrible things, unforgivable, and merciless things. Was the demon to blame? Was it truly influencing his actions? He felt even sicker than before. This was a nightmare, and he seemed to be trapped inside. He couldn’t tell where he started, and this specter haunting him began. How much was it influencing his behavior each day? How much control did it really have?

He had to try and stay in control. He needed to keep talking until he could think of something better. If he let this thing under his skin, the results would be unthinkable. “So, what do you want?” He asked, his voice holding none of the bravado he usually showed.

“I told you Damien, we need to talk.”

“Then talk. Say whatever it is you want to say.”

“Haven’t you ever wondered about me… my presence here within you? Of course you have. I know your thoughts. I have nothing to do but listen to them. Tell me Damien why do you hate me so? Worse, why do you ignore me? I have more to offer than you can possibly imagine. Why do you never allow yourself to take what I have to offer?”

“If you know my thoughts then you know the answers.” Damien said with petulance, “I’m not going to play games with you.”

“I need you to say them, so that you yourself understand them. You don’t seem to know yourself very well. It is important you do so.”

Damien paused before answering, he felt like he was walking into a trap of some sort, but he had no idea what it might be. “I hate you,” he started, “… because you are a monster. You pretend to act in the name of some higher ideal, but your actions are violent, and cruel. You hurt people, and show no remorse. You don’t met out justice, only death, and despair. When I give you sway, or when you take it, nothing good ever happens.” Damien realized that the demon was smiling. He didn’t know how he knew that, but only that he could sense the emotion from the darkness around him.

“So I am death itself, am I? Why does it matter? Is that not a suitable punishment for the wicked? Do my actions not resonate with a part of your desires? You deny, and chastise me, but I am simply a truth. More than that, I am a truth you agree with.”

“No, I don’t agree with your actions. You are indiscriminate, and callous… you don’t always stop with the wicked. You have killed a lot of people who didn’t deserve it.” He swallowed as he said it. The demons retort was obvious to him, but he had needed to say it anyway.

“There is always a sin of some sort. No one is innocent. I do what I am compelled to do. I bring equality to the world. I bring order out of chaos. My role is that of arbiter, and it is a noble cause. Violence settles any grievance, and death is the ultimate equalizer.”

“It doesn’t matter how you spin it. You are a monster, and you bring suffering to everything you touch. You talk about order, but you sow as much disharmony as you stop. There is no place for you in my world. I want you gone. Tell me how I get rid of you.” Damien was finding it hard to think. There was too much rolling around inside him. His emotions were seething, and he felt helpless. Why was he cursed with this thing? Why wouldn’t it leave him?

“You cannot get rid of me. I choose you, and you invited me in. We are as one Damien.”

“Wait, what do you mean you chose me? I never invited you in. What the hell are you talking about?” he shouted.

“I was but an ideal once, drifting, unstable, incomplete. I craved form, and substance. In order to exist, and affect, I needed transcend the ephemeral. It was you that spoke to me, calling through the void of time, and space… through the Eye. I sensed you, and your desire to judge. You needed purpose, and I had power. I needed substance, and you had form. So we were joined.”

“So what, you just decided to hop on and enjoy the ride? Bullshit! That isn’t fair. I don’t remember any thing like that. Why in the world would I ever join with you?”

“Why? You wanted what I offered, and so a pact was formed. I may be death, but you, you are the one who took death into his heart. What is done is done, and cannot be undone. Acceptance is what is required now. Don’t tell me I am unwanted. I can feel the kinship between us. It is what drew us together in the first place. Tell me, where was I when you stole the life of an entire country? Who is responsible for that action?”

“I…” Damien stammered, and felt sick. “That wasn’t, those people…they were…” He couldn’t find any words to describe what he was feeling. It was bizarre. He hadn’t felt this way then. Why was it only just now hitting him? How much life had he, of is own free will taken. “Oh god…” He clutched his head trying to keep the vertigo and nausea down.

Quiet laughter greeted his torment. “Don’t feel to badly boy. You are never alone. I am always watching, and pushing you. You may not know it, but I have been guiding you for a long time. I can do nothing else, it’s a part of what I am, your very own muse of endings. You should feel privileged Damien. Few beings ever receive the focus granted by a higher calling. You have purpose, and I am a part of that. I amplify who you already are. Take pride in that, and accept your greatness.”

“So I’m just supposed to accept all this? Just take your word, and move on?” This was getting to weird for Damien. What the hell was going on? How the hell was he supposed to tell if anything was true? Where did he stop, and this demon begin? Was he responsible for what he was doing? He felt helpless, and out of control. “What the hell are you?’ He finally whispered.

“I told you, I am an ideal, an abstract. Without you I would have drifted until I vanished. For that I am indebted to you, and for that debt I have relinquished…” the voiced paused for a moment, ”much”. The way it said ‘much’ was ominous.

“So you want what, to control me. You want me to stop fighting you, is that it?”

“Yes.”

Damien laughed before he could stop himself. It was not a pleasant laugh, but one holding both contempt, and disbelief.

“You are a foolish child Damien. You should not mock me. I have put up with your petulance for long enough. We share form, and spirit, and whether you wish to acknowledge it or not, a common goal. I am asking you, do not fight me.”

“I’m not sharing MY body with you. If I have to fight every second of every day for the rest of my life to hold you in, then that is what I’m going to do. You are a menace to everything I love. I despise you. I refuse to believe that we have anything in common. Save yourself the trouble, and leave.”

A low growl emanated from the darkness around him, and the voice became deathly cold, “You are a fool. Your understanding of this situation is next to nothing. I asked once because we are stronger unified. However, if you refuse to accept an alliance, then I will simply force what I want, and as long as you keep me from my desires I will hurt you in every way I can. You will regret your stupidity boy.” The darkness began to squeeze in around him. Damien felt smothered, and claustrophobic, but he refused to budge. The pillar of light around him, bent inward with the force of the dark icor, but only to a point. This was battle of wills.

“It won’t work demon. This is my body, and my mind. I wont let you take it.”

“You are a simple creature Damien. I chose you for your bodies physical endurance. However, you forget, that we share a mind. I know, and comprise a part of you, and as such I already have control.” The darkness was pushing harder, and harder and Damien’s concentration was wavering. It was the emotion of it all, it was draining his resistance, and causing a mental fatigue he couldn’t push past.

He wasn’t ready to give in however. Defiance spurred him on, and his anger helped him push back. “You fucked with the wrong guy. I am not weak.” The way Damien said this made him think he was trying more to convince himself, than the thing to which he spoke, “I have kept you contained, and I will continue to do so. You don’t get to play with me like I’m a fucking puppet.”

“You really do not comprehend what I am capable of. I am not some passing thought to be dismissed. I haven’t even begun to exercise my influence over this vessel. Some of the power you weld is mine to give, or take. I allow you what you have because your continued survival is necessary for my own, but don’t push me. To cease existing can seem a suitable alternative to living in a cage forever.”

Damien laughed again. It surprised him, but it helped his nerves. “I refuse to let you win. You might slip free every now and again, but I rule this body, not you. I wont give in to you, do you hear me?” He pushed outward with his will, against the closing dark.

“But Damien,” it said with amusement, “you already have. I know you remember. You have given in to me before, and I know it felt good for you. Your responsibility was ended, and mine began. I gave you freedom from sin. Isn’t that what you want? I can take away the burden of responsibility.”

“No, I’m still responsible. When it’s all said and done, I’m the one that keeps you in or lets you out. It’s me. It all comes back to me.” Even as he spoke Damien knew he was a hypocrite. He did want to give it all up. He hated the responsibility he felt more and more each day. Unfortunately he also knew what this thing would do if he gave in. “So is that it? Is that why you brought me here to try and tempt me into letting you out?”

“No. I brought you here to try and shed light on this game we are perpetually playing. You need to know that you aren’t as in control as you thought you were. You aren’t dealing with a shadow Damien, your dealing with something more. You shouldn’t underestimate me.” The dark sea rolled, and surged causing his meager pillar to ripple.

“I’m not giving in to you. You can’t have what you want. I have seen the havoc you unleash, and I won’t have that on my head. Not without a fight.” He shook with the effort of just holding what little ground he had.

“Is that your final answer? Is there no room for compromise?”

“Yes, this is my answer. Do your worst, but you aren’t getting out.” Damien started to brace himself for whatever was coming, preparing his bastion of light against the closing blackness.

“A pity. Hopefully, you will begin to see things differently in the future for both our sakes. For now I leave you with a demonstration of my power, and something to think about.”

Damien tensed. He wasn’t sure what a fight in his own mind would be like, but it promised to be weird he was sure. Without warning Damien’s pillar winked out, and he found himself thrust into an absolute darkness. It was cold, and…. Wet? What was going on? He had no idea, but he felt himself floating in liquid. Damn it was cold, his body was going numb, and he was finding it hard to fight. Then he was drowning, the liquid forcing itself into his mouth and nose. He tried to cough, but pain wracked his torso. He struggled to stay conscious but slowly it all faded away. His final thought was a terrible memory as his body convulsed violently.

Damian sat up screaming. It had been a dream? He was on a roof. The roof of the building he had been standing on earlier. Wait, he had been asleep? He hadn’t slept in months, which he had assumed was a side effect of his blossoming abilities. He also found that he was hungry, really hungry in fact. What was going on? Damien was confused, and in a lot of pain.

Everything was spinning, and the nausea hadn’t left him. He tried to stand, but his legs felt like rubber. “Shit” he shouted, as his fist hit the ground. “Goddamn, mother fucking shit!”

He sat for a while coming to his senses. He couldn’t stop shaking. He felt drained, and… weak. It was not a feeling he was used to. He grimaced, and tried to ignore the sense of violation, and helplessness he was feeling. I’m still in control he thought with relief, but something.

As he sat there on the roof thinking and trying to compose himself, the hunger began to gnaw at him. It was hard to think through the rumbling, and it only added to his frustrations. Then it hit him like a cold wall of ice… his powers. If the sustenance his link to the Darkforce had previously been providing was gone, then maybe there were other things missing.

Damien called to the dark energy with trepidation, and willed it to him. With a subconscious surge of relief he found it coming to him. The energy began to coagulate in the air about him, but Damien felt the action way to hard for as little result as he was getting. Suddenly he felt the tension snap, and the energy wink away back to its plane of origin. He stood stunned. What had just happened... where had his power gone? Laughter rolled through his mind, followed by a whisper, “I warned you. Now feel my ire.” Damien swallowed, and cracked his knuckles. Shit, shit, shit.

It didn’t take long for more bad news to darken his mood further. It occurred to him that he was going to have to walk home… through the post apocalyptic urban jungle of The City. He was hungry, cold, and alone. The city was a war zone, and his powers were failing him. Laughter filled the night, yet no one heard it except Damien.